Sunday, July 27, 2003
  *chesire cat grin*

This blog has officially moved! Seee! :D

Alternate linkage, 'cause my comp is messed up and I don't know which one works for everyone else. O_o Long story.
Friday, July 25, 2003
  Song: "Bitter" - Remy Zero
Feeling: tired
Quote: "I like fiiish, nice and juiiicy." - Gollum (sing it)

*sigh* My father is ratting on me again, because to him, I do nothing all day. Which hell, is kinda true. *waves her hand in front of your face* I exist only in the computer. But still, I do know what sunlight is. I also know enough to know that when you tell the dog in front of me "You don't have a job, oh no, you're lazy" that you're really talking to me.
Ok, you know the movie thats coming out, with Tobey Maguire, "Seabiscuit"? Well, to me, it looks utterly stupid. I crack up every time I see the commerical. I think its because I have problems with the name Seabiscuit. Its a truly ridiculous name. So I am prejudiced against this "drama" because of the name of the horse. Just say it aloud... go on, say Seabiscuit? See? Don't get me wrong, when I was little I loved the Black Stallion. I went through the little girl/horse phase. I still love horses and like riding if I get a chance, but not to that extent.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
  Song: "Stupid Thing" - Nickel (Can you say A-d-d-i-c-t-i-o-n?)
Feeling: Headache-y
Quote: "Technically, three's not a party. Three's company."

*waves* Hi Psi.
CtP is back up. I am still utterly bored and procrastinating by writing in this thing several times a day. See! I would make a good hostee. (A) I update all the time, and enjoy chattering your ear off. I also know that I'm pushing my want for a real blog instead of this crap... bah.
Mums bday celebration is still continuing. She hasn't actually come home yet from work, and my dad is vacumning the house and searching for birthday candles, arranging flowers in a vase. Aww, isn't that sweet. Maybe if he gives her tons of things, she won't leave him for the clingy, obsessive jackass he is. My lemon squares scare me. I will not comment on them. Note to self: if it says use unsalted butter, rob the grocery store to get it. Screw the fact that they sent out a search party for the last guy. Crisco does not equal unsalted butter. *cackles in her stupidity and ass backwards ingenuity*
Anyway, my father is snapping and yelling at me because he wants everything to be perfect for my Mum's bday, and I feel like calling him "Stepmother". *sigh* I want to be jealous and explain the story of my birthday with a cake that was a plain donut and a large red candle.
Whoops. Here comes my father with a vacumn cleaner, knocking down my door. Gotta remember to lock it. Here I will peacefully sit and type... and type... while he vacumns around me, and peers at the computer screen. Lucky I'm on no message boards. He's getting mad, and I'm fighting to keep from kicking him, strangling him with the vacumn cleaner wire, making one of many scathing, sarcastic comments I could make now.
BAM! He pulls the vacumn cleaner out of the room and slams the door. I get up and lock it. Phone rings, its the non clinically insane grandma. Does this familial insanity never end? Thank god I can cradle the phone on my shoulder and type at the same time, and listen just enough to interject "Mmhmm" every few words.
Hi. I'm mean and have family issues. What's your excuse? 
  Song: None
Feeling: dazzled
Quote: "I didn't really love you, but I'm pretty when I lie." - ? (Go ask Fe)

Bah. CtP down for the day. I miss it, just the teeniest bit. ;)
Ok, why do people happy interject "LMAO" into their blog? That really baffles me. You do not laugh at yourself. We laugh at you. Its a time honored tradition.
Mum's bday is today, and I did my usual bday present for her: lemon squares. (Yes, I cook) But I had to use the substitution property when making it because we didn't have certain ingredients, and I left it in the oven 5 minutes too long. I'm really interested to see how it tastes.... waiting for it to cool. At least I did not grate off part of my thumb this time. Mum said last year's lemon squares were special, she has no idea. :D
I'm going to plug two things that make my eyes turn very, very green. These are both very talented people, which is obvious, and their blogs are gorgeous. Stare-worthy. Odd thing is? I only know them by association really. :P But still, I love shiny things to look at, and so I plug.
Ana's blog
Aodhan's blog - the person who I commonly refer to as Alch.
I want your talent dudes.  
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
  Song: "Stupid Thing" - Nickel
Feeling: better
Quote: "You look lovely dahling." "Shut up dollface."

I feel slightly better. Why? I finally downloaded all of "Stupid Thing" of off Kazaa and more Tegan and Sara. Yay. I also went and read a lot of here'sluck's LJ. Which was very entertaining. Before that, we had a round of mock and clique on MSN, which although I tend to slightly sicken myself with my meanness sometimes, made me feel better today. Go figure.
Stolen from here'sluck. Love this survey, 'cause its not boring as hell. :D
20 Things You Might Not Of Known About Me

1. What's your favorite cheese?
Grated Mozzarella. Its fun to eat that way. I like most normal cheeses though, and some say I have a cheese obsession. ;)

2. How long do you hold onto odd socks before giving up on finding their mate?
Umm.. I never let them go. They just live in my drawer and occasionally I'll pull one out for an odd project of mine. Of course, washed first.

3. Who was your favorite musical artist when you were 15? Yes, you can only pick one!
Hee. Guess how old I am? Umm, probably Coldplay or Remy Zero

4. What shape are your fingernails in right now?
One broken nail, but the rest are only slightly chipped and painted a light, shiny green.

5. Two scoops: of what?
I'll assume you mean ice cream. Well, keep the ice cream. I want the cookie dough.

6. What's your earliest memory?
Ok, let's first explain one quirk of me. I cannot remember anything before some point when I was four years old. I've narrowed it down, because I can remember my 5th birthday party. Anything I know about the time before this I was told by my parents and relatives, and pictures. The saddest thing is, I didn't realize that I didn't remember anything before that time until about 6 months ago, when I discovered a few odd facts.
That said, my first memory is abstract as hell. What seems like a field of wheat, next to a highway overpass. Whoopee.

7. When does your pet look funniest?
Ripley? Ripley always looks funny. He looks funny when he's serious because he's so dumb. Funniest though... probably when his lip gets stuck on his tooth and it slightly raised, and he looks at you curiously. Cracks me up.

8. What do you collect?
Errr... online screennames. Fortunes from the cookies. Nicknames.

9. What's better than sex?
I refuse to answer that, and if you cannot guess on what basis I will not answer that, I shall hunt you down. Hi.

10. What things are you brand-loyal to?
Umm... I'm not very brand conscious. I'm very anti-Nike, anti-Apple and anti-Sunny Delight though.

11. Favorite Dr. Seuss book?
The Cat in the Hat! Of course! The Universal Studios kid's ride made it even better, brought it to life. I went on that ride 8 times.

12. Best meal you've had lately?
The hot coffee and chocolate and yellow cream filled donut this morning. God, was that good. It was even better because I had it in the very early morning, so I felt all dreamy happy while eating. Then I stubbed my toe and had to deal with idiots.

13. Peanut Butter and ________?
Jelly. Its classic.

14. Who's your favorite poet?
e. e. cummings. Yes, I know I didn't capitalize. And yes, I really do love his poems. I read them when I was 7, and have loved his work since.

15. Where are you going on vacation this year?
I went to Ocracoke Island last month, not going anywhere this year I think. Unless I get to go to New York again! I hope, I pray... mm... Broadway.

16. If you could change careers tomorrow with no strings attached, what would you be?
A fireman! No, I'd be an actress. *nods solemnly*

17. Whaddya drive?
Can't drive. Sorry. Plus, Jyn gets the car first. Cadillac, please.

18. What's your poison?
My poison... myself. How sappy.

19. The color of the carpet on your floor?
Dark blue. If you get down on your hands and knees, you can feel around and find rubber cement and dried Indian ink from my Latin project.

20. What's on your walls?
Ugly tan paint and a map border from the last owners. (Umm, going on 6 years?) One wall is completely white and bare, from when the wall was redone in May. A black and white frog calendar. An inflatable sun with a lei on it hangs from the ceiling in the corner, if that counts. A few nails and junk. This framed, large drawn picture of a cat, I think the cat used to be my dad's or something when he was little. If you check the baseboards, you might find my initials and a few dates etched into them. I was a weird 11 yr. old.  
  Song: "This Picture" - Placebo
Feeling: numb-ish
Quote: "It unscrews the other way." - McGonagall to Peeves (hehehe.)

I'm still depressed, Mum did not help me out at all last night. Jake did for about an hour, then I went to sleep and woke up the same way. Wheee. At least I'm on my banner making kick, leading to prettiness I will never use. I've also listened to the same 5 songs today: "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage, "Bitter" - Remy Zero, "This Picture", "The Bitter End" and "English Summer Rain" all by Placebo. Hee. I hear too much Placebo makes you turn into a bitter, bitter man. ;)
I also wonder if anyone reads this thing anymore. O_o I miss you people! Come back! Come back! Sen, wake up before 10 at night!
Stole from Jyn. Go ask her philosophical questions.
hair: Shoulder length, red
eyes: Green
height: 5'11"

clothing: Jeans and weird shirts.
music: Alt. rock, rock rock, two rocks banging together rock.
bodyart: My ears are pierced. :D No.

wearing: ... Jeans and a red shirt
listening to: "This Picture" - Placebo
thinking of: Eevil doctors... eeevil PSP... oooh, pretty art... *follows*

bought: cup of coffee
read: "The Crucible" - Arthur Miller. Its for school. Dear god, I actually have a stack of books to read.
watched on tv: VH1

club or houseparty: club, 'cause you can crash at your house without people there
tea or coffee: coffee
achiever or slacker: slacker all the way baby. :P
beer or cider: Nada.
cats or dogs: Dogs
single or taken: Single
pen or pencil: Pen. Pencil smudges.
gloves or mittens: Gloves. Mittens are funny.
food or candy: Depends on my mood. Right now, anything that is not Life cereal.
cassette or cd: CD
Coke or Pepsi: Root Beer (There! I did my infamous answer thats not a choice! Happy now?)
matches or a lighter: Matches.

kill: *whistles* The first A in NAA. *cackles*
be like: No one.
avoid: Parental units

talked to: telemarketer, two hours
hugged: Not a damn clue. O_o
instant messaged: Errr. *pulls up MSN windows* Jake, five minutes ago
kissed: *gives you a look*
who broke your heart: Eeeee... Dr. Wall, three years ago!

eat: My room
dance: My room
cry: Never
wish you were: *sings* Somewhereeee over the rainbow...!

dated one of your best friends: Hehehe. In SPAM! *cackles* No.
loved somebody so much it makes you cry: No you fool.
drank alcohol: Yes.
done drugs: Nope.
broken the law: Yes.
ran away from home: I didn't get very far... or try that hard. O_o I was very young, and very stupid.
broken a bone: Nope.
skinny dipped: No.
played truth or dare: Yes. Ask the people in Clifton, if one night, many years ago, they saw a girl wrapped in a blanket...
flashed someone: No.
Mooned Someone? No.
Kissed someone you didn't know: Just say no.
been on a talk show/game show: Nope.
been in a fight: Only verbal slashing.
ridden in a fire truck: Errr... *thinks* Nope.
come close to dying: Yes.
cheated on your boy/girlfriend: *glare*
gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: Yes, my cousin when she was little.
swam in the ocean: Dude, you go visit the ocean! :P Yes.
had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up: Umm... I don't know.

the most embarrassing cd in your collection: A*Teens. They're the new ABBA. I honestly do not know where that came from.
your favorite thing for breakfast: coffee in a vat
your favorite thing for lunch: Hehehe. *is reminded of school* Cookies and lemonade!
your favorite thing for dinner: Omelette with stuff in it
your favorite resturant: Depends on my mood... I want Grand Buffet

a vegetarian: (Jyn says dude a lot now *lmao*) Nope!
good at sports: Which sport?
good at wakeboarding/snowboarding: Never tried.
a good singer: No.
a good actor/actress? Better than some. O_o
a deep sleeper: No.
shy: No.
outgoing: If I said I'm not shy, what do you THINK I am?
a good storyteller: I dunno.
last words: Thank you for the cheese. 
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
  Song: "My Number" - Tegan and Sara
Feeling: depressed and angry
Quote: "Its a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown."

Its time for a personal history lesson, kiddies.
I have scoliosis. It means that my spine is curved, ever so slightly. It can lead to problems later in life, yada yada, you understand. No, you idiot, its not contagious, it just happens, usually to taller people.
For the past three years (approximately, I got it in late September I think) I've worn a back brace. Its hard plastic, foam with velcro straps. Its large, covers me from about my waist to right below my chest, all the way around my body, the sides go up high under my arms. I have to wear it under my clothes, 23 hours a day. I sleep in it. I'm sure you should really wear it 24 hours a day for prime results, but you have to be able to take showers and the humane society probably decided that people had to have an hour out of it. Anyway, three years with this thing. Its damn uncomfortable, but not downright painful. Hot and sticky all year round, and when I wear it, I look out of proportion and fat, because one part of my body is larger than everything else.
When I first got it, the doctor, Dr. Wall, said that I would only have to wear the brace 1 1/2 years, at most 2 years. After the first year, the brace was too small and wasn't correcting my spinal curve anymore. I had to get a new brace. Yes, I have two. THe other one is in my closet, I haven't thought of the proper way to take my anger out on a huge piece of plastic yet.
After 2 years, I still didn't have it off. He told me I needed to wear it another year. Yeah, I was depressed. I hated him. I still hate him. He's pompous, arrogant, and he lied to me. I mean, you could of told me it would be 3 years at first, you could of told me that there was at least that possibility. No, he told me "2 years at the most, then its off." Thank you for that false hope that I would have a normal, happier life in two years. Wait, 3! Sorry, another year. You don't mind do you?
Its been three years almost. I went and got the straps adjusted a few weeks ago at the brace shop (They actually make the brace, Dr. Wall just diagnoses and tells 'em what to make), and they told me to make an appointment with Dr. Wall immediately. Because, apparently, someone else besides me noticed that I've stopped growing. Since I stopped the growing, the curve can't get worse. I don't think the brace has been helping me since about a year and a half ago. Anyway, I made the appointment, and the soonest time is September 8, at 2:45. Whee. My own personal judgement day.
Everyone thinks that I should have it off, and I really don't feel like waiting for Septemember 8. I was really hoping that I would have it off before school started. You know, fresh start, NOT have people look at me funny when I wear it. Maybe own a halter top. I always liked those. I want a red one.
I'm just so tired of it. I'm not happy though, like I suppose I should be. I'm expecting the worst from the visit. "Whoops, sorry, let's make it 4 years. Its an even number, and hey, you get to pay me for more doctor visits!" It just doesn't seem like I could have it off. I'm so used to lying about it, hiding it from people, being depressed, being hopeful about getting it off and then learning that its another year.
Tonight, I just want to tell my mum to shove it. Screw waiting for the doctor. I want it off now. I want to go swimming without worrying about how long I've had it off, and I want to run and play soccer without it.
Oh, and you wondered why I'm always on the computer, Mum? Lets see. They can't see me. I don't get judged by my appearance. If anyone comes to me and says the old "beauty is only skin deep", well fuck off. I'd like to see you wear a piece of plastic for 3 freakin' years. It really breeds confidence.  
Sunday, July 20, 2003
  Song: "Istanbul" - They Might Be Giants (Ha!)
Feeling: dazed
Quote: "Do you know Feebee?"

I know Feebee. I also know the Muffin Man.
Wheee! AN is down, and I'm seriously looking for a way out of it now. As soon as I find a good board that will take me, I'm going. Petal said he's admin. at one board that might take it, and Lisa is admin. at another board. I just want a good board. :(
Part of my nail on my pinkie broke off, and its bleeding. Really hurts to type, I gotta stop using that finger... if I could only switch hands... O_o
I went to the opera last night. Correction, I was dragged to the opera last night by my dearest mother. The singing was beautiful, yeah. I had horrible problems with the plotline. We saw Norma. Its about this Druidic priestess who fell in love with a Roman consul (Pollione) and had two children, but she's really supposed to be a chaste priestess and against all Romans. But Pollione has seduced another priestess, named Adalgisa. Adalgisa doesn't know about Norma, and confesses her "sins". The thing that gets to me is they are both so beat up about this guy, and still seem to love him. Norma is ready to kill her children because they remind her of this bastard (Pollione), and I'm sitting here going "What the hell?! Get over yourself lady, you do not kill your goddamn children for something thats not their fault!" Then Norma seems to forgive Pollione at the end (although they burn together on the pyre), which annoyed me. Adalgisa had no spine and I felt like smacking her. Maybe I'm just a pessimistic feminist, but it really got to me. (Hee. Say that 10 times fast)
Oh, and when going to an opera, do not read the words. Spare yourself the embarrasment of choking back laughter when you swear you read "My love is hurtling across the sky like a coconut." Or perhaps that was the angle I was sitting at. This was written before Monty Python, so there were no coconuts in Gaul! (or near there, seeing as how Holy Grail was set in England, but still, no coconut laden swallows!)
The other thing about last night that annoyed me was the glares I kept getting. Apparently since I was unnaturally red-haired, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, had bright green nails and adding my shoes, I was about 6'2, I should not be opera-going. Granted, I didn't really want to be there, but still. I was polite, I did nothing wrong but a little squeak at the coconut thing.
*smiles widely* Andrew just told me that he talked to Phoebe and I might be a mod at their board and get to host Soulless. :D Yayness.
Lisa's blog
Our SPAM quotes. A must read, even if you don't know what SPAM is 
Friday, July 18, 2003
  Song: "Sugar Water" - Cibo Matto
Feeling: sleepy
Quote: "May a sickness come and set me free, kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me."

I fixed it. :D My 'net connection, that is. Yay. MSN still sucks, avoid it if you can.
Bye Llama! Yay for the rock. *nods* Have fun, don't eat bugs.
I'm having worse memory problems. I kept thinking back to my old house, trying to remember different rooms and what they looked like. It was hard, I can't remember what the staircase or the hallway looked like, and I forgot a few rooms at first. O_o It's quite odd, the harder I try to remember something, the harder it becomes to remember anything. My memory is getting so much worse. Argh. Maybe I just need to be put in that coffin thing from "Daredevil" (Ok-ish movie) that Daredevil slept in to keep all sound out, so I can get a really good night's sleep. Help clear my head.

Soph: Yeah, then I'll have to explain to my parents why I made a phone call to Pennsylvania.
ME: The Amish! It was the Amish!
Jake: That makes logical sense, seeing as how the Amish DON'T USE PHONES! 
  Song: Nothing
Feeling: pissed off
Quote: "It's times like these you learn to live again." - Foo Fighters

*beats her internet with a stick* Mmhmm, yes. I can't figure out how to bring the 'net back up on my own computer, so I'm on my dad's. I've tried every combination of buttons and codes I can think of, and nothing is working. So, to my deprivation computer I go. All I have is Yahoo Messenger, and one person on my buddy list! Of course, they're not even on. Bah. Utter boredom and inability to work on stuff without my favorites and junk. *cries* Ramen... need ramen... (Thanks Llama!!)

I have this entire theory that my computer and MSN are plotting against me. Whenever something is going on, something that I want to hear and help with goes on, it promptly kicks me off. Therefore, if this pattern holds true, something will happen today. O_o *lmao* :P
Grrr.... I want to talk to Fe. :( *goes to find her* 
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