"Bitter" - Remy Zero
"I like fiiish, nice and juiiicy." - Gollum (sing it)
*sigh* My father is ratting on me again, because to him, I do nothing all day. Which hell, is kinda true. *waves her hand in front of your face* I exist only in the computer. But still, I do know what sunlight is. I also know enough to know that when you tell the dog in front of me "You don't have a job, oh no, you're lazy" that you're really talking to me.
Ok, you know the movie thats coming out, with Tobey Maguire, "Seabiscuit"? Well, to me, it looks utterly stupid. I crack up every time I see the commerical. I think its because I have problems with the name Seabiscuit. Its a truly ridiculous name. So I am prejudiced against this "drama" because of the name of the horse. Just say it aloud... go on, say Seabiscuit? See? Don't get me wrong, when I was little I loved the Black Stallion. I went through the little girl/horse phase. I still love horses and like riding if I get a chance, but not to that extent.
"Stupid Thing" - Nickel (Can you say A-d-d-i-c-t-i-o-n?)
"Technically, three's not a party. Three's company."
*waves* Hi Psi.
CtP is back up. I am still utterly bored and procrastinating by writing in this thing several times a day. See! I would make a good hostee. (A) I update all the time, and enjoy chattering your ear off. I also know that I'm pushing my want for a real blog instead of this crap... bah.
Mums bday celebration is still continuing. She hasn't actually come home yet from work, and my dad is vacumning the house and searching for birthday candles, arranging flowers in a vase. Aww, isn't that sweet. Maybe if he gives her tons of things, she won't leave him for the clingy, obsessive jackass he is. My lemon squares scare me. I will not comment on them. Note to self: if it says use unsalted butter, rob the grocery store to get it. Screw the fact that they sent out a search party for the last guy. Crisco does not equal unsalted butter. *cackles in her stupidity and ass backwards ingenuity*
Anyway, my father is snapping and yelling at me because he wants everything to be perfect for my Mum's bday, and I feel like calling him "Stepmother". *sigh* I want to be jealous and explain the story of my birthday with a cake that was a plain donut and a large red candle.
Whoops. Here comes my father with a vacumn cleaner, knocking down my door. Gotta remember to lock it. Here I will peacefully sit and type... and type... while he vacumns around me, and peers at the computer screen. Lucky I'm on no message boards. He's getting mad, and I'm fighting to keep from kicking him, strangling him with the vacumn cleaner wire, making one of many scathing, sarcastic comments I could make now.
BAM! He pulls the vacumn cleaner out of the room and slams the door. I get up and lock it. Phone rings, its the non clinically insane grandma. Does this familial insanity never end? Thank god I can cradle the phone on my shoulder and type at the same time, and listen just enough to interject "Mmhmm" every few words.
Hi. I'm mean and have family issues. What's your excuse?
"I didn't really love you, but I'm pretty when I lie." - ? (Go ask Fe)
Bah. CtP down for the day. I miss it, just the teeniest bit. ;)
Ok, why do people happy interject "LMAO" into their blog? That really baffles me. You do not laugh at yourself. We laugh at you. Its a time honored tradition.
Mum's bday is today, and I did my usual bday present for her: lemon squares. (Yes, I cook) But I had to use the substitution property when making it because we didn't have certain ingredients, and I left it in the oven 5 minutes too long. I'm really interested to see how it tastes.... waiting for it to cool. At least I did not grate off part of my thumb this time. Mum said last year's lemon squares were special, she has no idea. :D
I'm going to plug two things that make my eyes turn very, very green. These are both very talented people, which is obvious, and their blogs are gorgeous
. Stare-worthy. Odd thing is? I only know them by association really. :P But still, I love shiny things to look at, and so I plug.
- the person who I commonly refer to as Alch.
I want your talent dudes.
"Stupid Thing" - Nickel
"You look lovely dahling." "Shut up dollface."
I feel slightly better. Why? I finally downloaded all of "Stupid Thing" of off Kazaa and more Tegan and Sara. Yay. I also went and read a lot of here'sluck's LJ. Which was very entertaining. Before that, we had a round of mock and clique on MSN, which although I tend to slightly sicken myself with my meanness sometimes, made me feel better today. Go figure.
Stolen from here'sluck. Love this survey, 'cause its not boring as hell. :D
20 Things You Might Not Of Known About Me
1. What's your favorite cheese?
Grated Mozzarella. Its fun to eat that way. I like most normal cheeses though, and some say I have a cheese obsession. ;)
2. How long do you hold onto odd socks before giving up on finding their mate?
Umm.. I never let them go. They just live in my drawer and occasionally I'll pull one out for an odd project of mine. Of course, washed first.
3. Who was your favorite musical artist when you were 15? Yes, you can only pick one!
Hee. Guess how old I am? Umm, probably Coldplay or Remy Zero
4. What shape are your fingernails in right now?
One broken nail, but the rest are only slightly chipped and painted a light, shiny green.
5. Two scoops: of what?
I'll assume you mean ice cream. Well, keep the ice cream. I want the cookie dough.
6. What's your earliest memory?
Ok, let's first explain one quirk of me. I cannot remember anything before some point when I was four years old. I've narrowed it down, because I can remember my 5th birthday party. Anything I know about the time before this I was told by my parents and relatives, and pictures. The saddest thing is, I didn't realize that I didn't remember anything before that time until about 6 months ago, when I discovered a few odd facts.
That said, my first memory is abstract as hell. What seems like a field of wheat, next to a highway overpass. Whoopee.
7. When does your pet look funniest?
Ripley? Ripley always looks funny. He looks funny when he's serious because he's so dumb. Funniest though... probably when his lip gets stuck on his tooth and it slightly raised, and he looks at you curiously. Cracks me up.
8. What do you collect?
Errr... online screennames. Fortunes from the cookies. Nicknames.
9. What's better than sex?
I refuse to answer that, and if you cannot guess on what basis I will not answer that, I shall hunt you down. Hi.
10. What things are you brand-loyal to?
Umm... I'm not very brand conscious. I'm very anti-Nike, anti-Apple and anti-Sunny Delight though.
11. Favorite Dr. Seuss book?
The Cat in the Hat! Of course! The Universal Studios kid's ride made it even better, brought it to life. I went on that ride 8 times.
12. Best meal you've had lately?
The hot coffee and chocolate and yellow cream filled donut this morning. God, was that good. It was even better because I had it in the very early morning, so I felt all dreamy happy while eating. Then I stubbed my toe and had to deal with idiots.
13. Peanut Butter and ________?
Jelly. Its classic.
14. Who's your favorite poet?
e. e. cummings. Yes, I know I didn't capitalize. And yes, I really do love his poems. I read them when I was 7, and have loved his work since.
15. Where are you going on vacation this year?
I went to Ocracoke Island last month, not going anywhere this year I think. Unless I get to go to New York again! I hope, I pray... mm... Broadway.
16. If you could change careers tomorrow with no strings attached, what would you be?
A fireman! No, I'd be an actress. *nods solemnly*
17. Whaddya drive?
Can't drive. Sorry. Plus, Jyn gets the car first. Cadillac, please.
18. What's your poison?
My poison... myself. How sappy.
19. The color of the carpet on your floor?
Dark blue. If you get down on your hands and knees, you can feel around and find rubber cement and dried Indian ink from my Latin project.
20. What's on your walls?
Ugly tan paint and a map border from the last owners. (Umm, going on 6 years?) One wall is completely white and bare, from when the wall was redone in May. A black and white frog calendar. An inflatable sun with a lei on it hangs from the ceiling in the corner, if that counts. A few nails and junk. This framed, large drawn picture of a cat, I think the cat used to be my dad's or something when he was little. If you check the baseboards, you might find my initials and a few dates etched into them. I was a weird 11 yr. old.
"This Picture" - Placebo
"It unscrews the other way." - McGonagall to Peeves (hehehe.)
I'm still depressed, Mum did not help me out at all last night. Jake did for about an hour, then I went to sleep and woke up the same way. Wheee. At least I'm on my banner making kick, leading to prettiness I will never use. I've also listened to the same 5 songs today: "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage, "Bitter" - Remy Zero, "This Picture", "The Bitter End" and "English Summer Rain" all by Placebo. Hee. I hear too much Placebo makes you turn into a bitter, bitter man. ;)
I also wonder if anyone reads this thing anymore. O_o I miss you people! Come back! Come back! Sen, wake up before 10 at night!
Stole from Jyn. Go ask her philosophical questions.
hair: Shoulder length, red
clothing: Jeans and weird shirts.
music: Alt. rock, rock rock, two rocks banging together rock.
bodyart: My ears are pierced. :D No.
wearing: ... Jeans and a red shirt
listening to: "This Picture" - Placebo
thinking of: Eevil doctors... eeevil PSP... oooh, pretty art... *follows*
LAST THING YOU...
bought: cup of coffee
read: "The Crucible" - Arthur Miller. Its for school. Dear god, I actually have a stack of books to read.
watched on tv: VH1
club or houseparty: club, 'cause you can crash at your house without people there
tea or coffee: coffee
achiever or slacker: slacker all the way baby. :P
beer or cider: Nada.
cats or dogs: Dogs
single or taken: Single
pen or pencil: Pen. Pencil smudges.
gloves or mittens: Gloves. Mittens are funny.
food or candy: Depends on my mood. Right now, anything that is not Life cereal.
cassette or cd: CD
Coke or Pepsi: Root Beer (There! I did my infamous answer thats not a choice! Happy now?)
matches or a lighter: Matches.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
kill: *whistles* The first A in NAA. *cackles*
be like: No one.
avoid: Parental units
LAST PERSON YOU..AND WHEN?
talked to: telemarketer, two hours
hugged: Not a damn clue. O_o
instant messaged: Errr. *pulls up MSN windows* Jake, five minutes ago
kissed: *gives you a look*
who broke your heart: Eeeee... Dr. Wall, three years ago!
WHERE DO YOU...
eat: My room
dance: My room
wish you were: *sings* Somewhereeee over the rainbow...!
HAVE YOU EVER...
dated one of your best friends: Hehehe. In SPAM! *cackles* No.
loved somebody so much it makes you cry: No you fool.
drank alcohol: Yes.
done drugs: Nope.
broken the law: Yes.
ran away from home: I didn't get very far... or try that hard. O_o I was very young, and very stupid.
broken a bone: Nope.
skinny dipped: No.
played truth or dare: Yes. Ask the people in Clifton, if one night, many years ago, they saw a girl wrapped in a blanket...
flashed someone: No.
Mooned Someone? No.
Kissed someone you didn't know: Just say no.
been on a talk show/game show: Nope.
been in a fight: Only verbal slashing.
ridden in a fire truck: Errr... *thinks* Nope.
come close to dying: Yes.
cheated on your boy/girlfriend: *glare*
gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: Yes, my cousin when she was little.
swam in the ocean: Dude, you go visit the ocean! :P Yes.
had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up: Umm... I don't know.
the most embarrassing cd in your collection: A*Teens. They're the new ABBA. I honestly do not know where that came from.
your favorite thing for breakfast: coffee in a vat
your favorite thing for lunch: Hehehe. *is reminded of school* Cookies and lemonade!
your favorite thing for dinner: Omelette with stuff in it
your favorite resturant: Depends on my mood... I want Grand Buffet
a vegetarian: (Jyn says dude a lot now *lmao*) Nope!
good at sports: Which sport?
good at wakeboarding/snowboarding: Never tried.
a good singer: No.
a good actor/actress? Better than some. O_o
a deep sleeper: No.
outgoing: If I said I'm not shy, what do you THINK I am?
a good storyteller: I dunno.
last words: Thank you for the cheese.
"My Number" - Tegan and Sara
depressed and angry
"Its a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown."
Its time for a personal history lesson, kiddies.
I have scoliosis. It means that my spine is curved, ever so slightly. It can lead to problems later in life, yada yada, you understand. No, you idiot, its not contagious, it just happens, usually to taller people.
For the past three years (approximately, I got it in late September I think) I've worn a back brace. Its hard plastic, foam with velcro straps. Its large, covers me from about my waist to right below my chest, all the way around my body, the sides go up high under my arms. I have to wear it under my clothes, 23 hours a day. I sleep in it. I'm sure you should really wear it 24 hours a day for prime results, but you have to be able to take showers and the humane society probably decided that people had to have an hour out of it. Anyway, three years with this thing. Its damn uncomfortable, but not downright painful. Hot and sticky all year round, and when I wear it, I look out of proportion and fat, because one part of my body is larger than everything else.
When I first got it, the doctor, Dr. Wall, said that I would only have to wear the brace 1 1/2 years, at most 2 years. After the first year, the brace was too small and wasn't correcting my spinal curve anymore. I had to get a new brace. Yes, I have two. THe other one is in my closet, I haven't thought of the proper way to take my anger out on a huge piece of plastic yet.
After 2 years, I still didn't have it off. He told me I needed to wear it another year. Yeah, I was depressed. I hated him. I still hate him. He's pompous, arrogant, and he lied to me. I mean, you could of told me it would be 3 years at first, you could of told me that there was at least that possibility. No, he told me "2 years at the most, then its off." Thank you for that false hope that I would have a normal, happier life in two years. Wait, 3! Sorry, another year. You don't mind do you?
Its been three years almost. I went and got the straps adjusted a few weeks ago at the brace shop (They actually make the brace, Dr. Wall just diagnoses and tells 'em what to make), and they told me to make an appointment with Dr. Wall immediately. Because, apparently, someone else besides me noticed that I've stopped growing. Since I stopped the growing, the curve can't get worse. I don't think the brace has been helping me since about a year and a half ago. Anyway, I made the appointment, and the soonest time is September 8, at 2:45. Whee. My own personal judgement day.
Everyone thinks that I should have it off, and I really don't feel like waiting for Septemember 8. I was really hoping that I would have it off before school started. You know, fresh start, NOT have people look at me funny when I wear it. Maybe own a halter top. I always liked those. I want a red one.
I'm just so tired of it. I'm not happy though, like I suppose I should be. I'm expecting the worst from the visit. "Whoops, sorry, let's make it 4 years. Its an even number, and hey, you get to pay me for more doctor visits!" It just doesn't seem like I could have it off. I'm so used to lying about it, hiding it from people, being depressed, being hopeful about getting it off and then learning that its another year.
Tonight, I just want to tell my mum to shove it. Screw waiting for the doctor. I want it off now. I want to go swimming without worrying about how long I've had it off, and I want to run and play soccer without it.
Oh, and you wondered why I'm always on the computer, Mum? Lets see. They can't see me. I don't get judged by my appearance. If anyone comes to me and says the old "beauty is only skin deep", well fuck off. I'd like to see you wear a piece of plastic for 3 freakin' years. It really breeds confidence.
"Istanbul" - They Might Be Giants (Ha!)
"Do you know Feebee?"
I know Feebee. I also know the Muffin Man.
Wheee! AN is down, and I'm seriously looking for a way out of it now. As soon as I find a good
board that will take me, I'm going. Petal said he's admin. at one board that might take it, and Lisa is admin. at another board. I just want a good board. :(
Part of my nail on my pinkie broke off, and its bleeding. Really hurts to type, I gotta stop using that finger... if I could only switch hands... O_o
I went to the opera last night. Correction, I was dragged to the opera last night by my dearest mother. The singing was beautiful, yeah. I had horrible problems with the plotline. We saw Norma
. Its about this Druidic priestess who fell in love with a Roman consul (Pollione) and had two children, but she's really supposed to be a chaste priestess and against all Romans. But Pollione has seduced another priestess, named Adalgisa. Adalgisa doesn't know about Norma, and confesses her "sins". The thing that gets to me is they are both so beat up about this guy, and still seem to love him. Norma is ready to kill her children because they remind her of this bastard (Pollione), and I'm sitting here going "What the hell?! Get over yourself lady, you do not kill your goddamn children for something thats not their fault!" Then Norma seems to forgive Pollione at the end (although they burn together on the pyre), which annoyed me. Adalgisa had no spine and I felt like smacking her. Maybe I'm just a pessimistic feminist, but it really got to me. (Hee. Say that 10 times fast)
Oh, and when going to an opera, do not read the words. Spare yourself the embarrasment of choking back laughter when you swear you read "My love is hurtling across the sky like a coconut." Or perhaps that was the angle I was sitting at. This was written before Monty Python, so there were no coconuts in Gaul! (or near there, seeing as how Holy Grail was set in England, but still, no coconut laden swallows!)
The other thing about last night that annoyed me was the glares I kept getting. Apparently since I was unnaturally red-haired, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, had bright green nails and adding my shoes, I was about 6'2, I should not be opera-going. Granted, I didn't really want to be there, but still. I was polite, I did nothing wrong but a little squeak at the coconut thing.
*smiles widely* Andrew just told me that he talked to Phoebe and I might be a mod at their board and get to host Soulless. :D Yayness.
Our SPAM quotes. A must read, even if you don't know what SPAM is
"Sugar Water" - Cibo Matto
"May a sickness come and set me free, kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me."
I fixed it. :D My 'net connection, that is. Yay. MSN still sucks, avoid it if you can.
Bye Llama! Yay for the rock. *nods* Have fun, don't eat bugs.
I'm having worse memory problems. I kept thinking back to my old house, trying to remember different rooms and what they looked like. It was hard, I can't remember what the staircase or the hallway looked like, and I forgot a few rooms at first. O_o It's quite odd, the harder I try to remember something, the harder it becomes to remember anything. My memory is getting so much worse. Argh. Maybe I just need to be put in that coffin thing from "Daredevil" (Ok-ish movie) that Daredevil slept in to keep all sound out, so I can get a really good night's sleep. Help clear my head.
Yeah, then I'll have to explain to my parents why I made a phone call to Pennsylvania.
The Amish! It was the Amish!
That makes logical sense, seeing as how the Amish DON'T USE PHONES!
"It's times like these you learn to live again." - Foo Fighters
*beats her internet with a stick* Mmhmm, yes. I can't figure out how to bring the 'net back up on my own computer, so I'm on my dad's. I've tried every combination of buttons and codes I can think of, and nothing is working. So, to my deprivation computer I go. All I have is Yahoo Messenger, and one person on my buddy list! Of course, they're not even on. Bah. Utter boredom and inability to work on stuff without my favorites and junk. *cries* Ramen... need ramen... (Thanks Llama!!)
I have this entire theory that my computer and MSN are plotting against me. Whenever something is going on, something that I want to hear and help with goes on, it promptly kicks me off. Therefore, if this pattern holds true, something will happen today. O_o *lmao* :P
Grrr.... I want to talk to Fe. :( *goes to find her*
"Everybody" - ?
pessimistic and totally lazy
"Everything I knew about Instanbul I learned from They Might Be Giants." - (Heh. Me too.)
*sighs and shakes her head* I feel so tired. Fraz is back from vacation, and Sofa is back being grounded. O_o
There's a girl missing from my neighborhood. A 12 yr. old, I think, that lived down the street. I didn't know her, I guess she just moved in, but she was going to my school next year, starting as a 7th grader. She just dissappeared, dunno where or how. Bit unnerving, but I don't worry.
like I just woke up (10 hours ago)
"Every great man has a woman behind him rolling their eyes."
*glares and pouts* I wanna remember all the HMTL, CSS, iframes and crap I knew awhile ago. I forget most of it, and I keep trying to re-learn it but it never works. Especially the iframes and the tables. Bah. If I could figure it out, I might find a host or use freewebs or something and make a pretty blog. :D
AIM won't work at all, and MSN will log off without telling me. So I never know if I'm offline or I'm being ignored. O_o I need a new smilie.
I was flipping through AN, and cleaning out my PM box I noticed that a sent PM to a "deleted user" had this next to it: Last online: 07:00 PM 12-31-1969. Yup. Apparently people were on AN in 1969, and I was PMing them. Uh-huh.
Was uber-bored today, with no one to talk to. Spent my time searching through usual haunts, fighting, reading reviews for movies (I love reading reviews of stuff, esp. by ridiculously snarky people, even if I don't agree) and reading a few peoples Live Journals. I am now a fan of this person named heresluck, who in addition to be one of the greatest vidders of all time, seems to have an obsession with vegetables. Reading her LJ, she cooks a lot, and she takes a count of the vegetables she brings home from the market.
Yes, I will occasionally stumble across people that I think are so damn cool but have never really met. I think this is how stalkers are born. But, seeing as how I've discovered the nightmare that is stalkers, I am not one. No siree.
The other person is Rellik, who posts at a few boards I visit. She seems incredibly random and funny, every post is entertaining.
Color me hideously bored if I'm rambling about weird crap that no one understands. Gah. I didn't even get to spring my witty comeback to having cheese thrown at me. What can I say, I'm not the only one bored out of my mind. ;)
(Just for mum's mental health, I did do something productive. I dusted all the damn chochkeys (Its a Russian word, I can't spell it, means figurines basically) in the house, which is insanely annoying trying to dust every bit of the naked lady statue in the living room. I also read half of "A Lesson Before Dying", one of my summer reading books. Be proud.)
"Every You, Every Me" - Placebo
like I just woke up
"Mouses, mouses, it must be mouses!"
Err... I went temporarily
insane last night. O_o I made parodies. More bits of a drinking game. And was talking to myself (well, I thought I was talking to someone else at first...) for a long time.
Oooh, I also found more funniness! :D Its penguins. Hoorah for the easily amused
So, I must plug this site. Sen showed it to me. Its the funniest flash thing I've seen since the Kikoman one that Jyn showed me awhile back. You must watch this. The way they talk, and their eyes reminds me of me talking to any one of my friends. O_o My favorite so far is the first one, "Mittens Animations".
Clicky Clicky Clicky!
"Lovely Rita" - The Beatles
"Lovely Lolita, meter maid.."
Dyed my hair about a half an hour ago. Still waiting for it to dry, but it's definitely different. Red! :D
Also, the Real World thingamajiger on CtP ended for me. I finally got offed. Weelll... not really offed I guess. I knew I was going. I gave the ion thingy to Sara (Fe should of won the ion, she did that challenge all by herself and did well) and of course, Sara and Fe are the last two contestants. If you really care, go see my freakin' confessional.
The glory of taking online quizzes for once:
FIRE is your chinese symbol!
What Chinese Symbol Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Soo... is it true? Do I hate you all? ;)
You Have the Power to Turn Things to Stone!
What's Your Magic Power? brought to you by Quizilla
Medusa! Sen, remember? I was Medusa! :D
Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.
What element would you rein over? (For Girls) brought to you by Quizilla
Wow. This is so funny it's sad. None of these are me. :S
The one that I really love... that is me... that makes me wanna bring back the moosaloupe...
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Oooh, and finally, changed the colors of this thing. Like green much?
"Prophecy" - Remy Zero
"Looks like we won't need the ouija board for this one. ;)"
I'll spare the "my internet is a bitch" rant. ;)
So, look what someone posted today at CtP. I quote:
"I'm sorry to say that I'm leaving. I broke my neck climbing down a 50 foot waterfall, so coming to this site any more won't be able to happen. Ciao everyone!"
"Broad Street" - The Bosstones
"Just because there's smoke does not mean there's fire, no matter what that saying says!" - Sen
I'm running on a brownie and a large amount of coffee. Beware.
AN came back up. Soulless is intact. But since no one really talks to me anymore about what went wrong, I'm picking up clues here. They mentioned something about a person hacking and messing with the forums. I mean, Fred's account was deleted and post counts went wonky. Although, as far as I can, no one else's accounts were messed with... its possible Fred took herself off because of how busy she is, but she said she wanted to continue RPing. Maybe I'm paranoid, but ED is springing to mind. *sigh* Well she threatened to hack and Fred took her spot. I don't understand why she didn't go after DM though, or Angel.
Mum got her dosage of her thyroid medicine tinkered with, so she's kinda odd. Even though she's been sick since I was born, I couldn't actually explain what's wrong with her clearly. She acts normal, and her body is fine as long as she takes this medicine each day. The doctor increased it though. Now she's acting like she's on more common drugs, with staring off into space interjected with short bursts of activity. She's more pleasant to be around though, which is a plus. However, when we were doing "errands" I kept having to snap her out of her daze to keep her moving. And driving with her? It's a thrill.
I can't dye my hair tonight. :( I forgot about the 48 hour allergy test thingy, where I put the dye on the inside of the elbow and wait to see if it does something funky like burst into hives or flames or something. Mum found the dying of my arm very amusing, and she would poke my elbow every once and awhile to see if it was doing something it shouldn't. I kinda feel like our roles have been switched. O_o Normally I'm the weird one, without medicinal help.
It's Ridge Day. Our neighborhood's festival-ish day, with little booths and shiz, and a parade! Woohoo! Our street made a float! Supposedly its an apple tree, but it looks like a large, green, diseased mushroom. I love my neighborhood. They try to avoid the real world by creating their own little delusional bubble, complete with apple tree floats and hats! Yes, people, I have my own hat with an apple tree on it. I'm almost tempted to walk down the street and observe this fascinating process. I think Lanier is out there supervising the float in his hard hat.
"Cherry Lips" - Garbage
hyper and ramble-y
"Ok, we drew a line down the sidewalk with chalks. Smurf people on this side, Strawberry Shortcake people on that side, and you carebear freaks just stay in the street."
I watched more "I Love the 80's" today. :D A new one, finally, 1980. Strawberry Shortcake, Star Wars, Caddyshack (golfing gophers!!) and Airplane! Great comedy right there. I demand that if you haven't seen Caddyshack or Airplane at least once, you must. Even if you hate it, it's great pop culture that needs to be known, like the Brady Bunch.
I accidentally stumbled upon the song from this one VH1 commerical that had been stuck in my head for ages. It happens to be by Garbage, yay, its the ending of "Cherry Lips". And it is still stuck in my head, but now I can listen to it for hours on end. I think "guilty pleasure" fits.
AN is down, but I talked to DM, and he said it should come back up when he figures out whats wrong with it. Although he has no clue whats wrong with it. Gah. I talked to Lisa, and hopefully she'll host my RPG on her board. I also miss Psi's tag-board comments. Psi! Come out, wherever you're hiding. ;)
Bought my hair dye today, along with all my summer homework books. The color of the dye isn't as cherry red as I wanted, but it's close and I love it. I'll dye it tommorow, and be sure to take a picture. Sadly, mum wouldn't let me order the dye that MK showed me a few weeks ago.
MSN decided to shut down abruptly today, and when it started up again, it was a different version. An older version. I no longer have MSN 6. It also made AIM start up for no reason, so it kinda wigged me out a little. It's alliiivve!
*starts singing as her favorite part of the song comes on* Go baby, go baby, yeah we're right behind ya... yeah we're looking for the candle in your heart (Go baby, go go) Shine the light on hidden parts...
Does me cursing under my breathe count?
"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste." - The Rolling Stones
I spent my 5 minutes of quality time with Mum today. Basically consisted of me pulling things out of the fridge and attempting to eat them, and her picking them out of my hands and putting them back for some reason or another. Finally, she settled it by shoving half a baguette in my mouth. Oh well, tastes pretty good.
I actually logged on AIM for about a half an hour today. I should not have done that. I was talking to about 10 people, all wanting to chat, or advertise, ask me questions or get me to do something. *sigh* My patience has been tried, and I hate being nice when I feel like killing someone.
Our favorite power-hungry, bossy RPer got on my nerves today so much more. She thinks she's god. At least today I got in a few more sly little insults, and had the pleasure of watching Kitz tell her she was wrong.
Hey! *cackles* What do you think will happen when I crack and stop being nice and polite? No one's safe! *cackles again* :P
"The First" - Tegan and Sara
I'm ok- damn internet connection!
"Well I tried to call it 'Al' but it would only answer to 'mistake'."
Wheee. This is mightily amusing. Every minute or so, my internet connection will go down for a couple of seconds. But that means that I have to walk into the other room, hit re-set, wait for it to turn green, then come back and hit refresh. That leaves me about 30 seconds to turn on MSN again before it kicks me off one more freakin' time.
Huge, rich, fresh-baked chocolate brownies are not helping either.
I am sorely tempted to start a request thread for graphics, to give me something to do when I get bored. Prolly won't though, 'cause my banners suck and I hate taking orders from people, and hate giving them too.
I could finish a damn fic and post it over at BMM for analysis... that actually has peculiar charm for my absolutely corny ideas.
"Someday, I'll be part of your clique." - Aradia on me and my friends
*dances around the blog, showering all with love and affection* I hate aradia! I hate MSN! I hate Roadrunner! I hate three straight days of rain! I hate my neighbors! *dances some more*
I'm in such a good mood today. :D I'm on my dad's computer, so I have no MSN/AIM. Plus, I should clear cookies and shiz from this comp after I'm done, because my dad likes to "investigate" and will take away my internet access if he found message boards or this.
Aradia is a bitch. :D To echo Fe, I hope she dies... because she's old. Well, not really, but I hope she goes far, far away from me and everyone else. Ooooh! Can we shoot her into space? I'm obsessing. Plus, my internet seems unable to work for more than three seconds, so I'm having a hard time getting anything done or at least chatting to my friends for gods sake. Its raining and I called Ria and Karen and they're not home, and I know everyone else is on vacation. Can't walk anywhere 'cause of the rain.
Pfffft.... *must focus on the good things* Running on anger and frustration for two days really gives you a creative high. Sen, check out my SPAM post. ;) Laced with teeny quips.
*goes back to dancing and ranting*
"The First" - Tegan and Sara
pissed off as hell and obsessed
"Green is the color of my envy, the color of fame."
Grr, ok, I read aradia's first WRIOD? post. (She plays an evil, self-centered, not-talkative, expressionless demon) Ok, she doesn't suck RPG-wise. But her post was not
her character. It was typical, run-of-the-mill, evil. Nothing to seperate her from any other demon. I've RPed and auditioned for an evil character millions of times, and they're always different. I always make sure they sound different.
Aradia pisses me off in an obsessive way. The only good thing? My obsessive passion with hating her fuels some of my better artwork. Nothing like rage to bring out the artist.
On the lighter side of things, I got an affiliate, or whatever you want to call it. :P Vinny came up with his blog, which is soo much nicer than mine, it has a personal layout and all, with more pages. The layout itself is adorable and simple, I love it. Anyway, since he's my "affiliate" *lol*, there's a button on the side under the tag-board. ;)
"Stupid Girl" - Garbage
Pick a dwarf. Any dwarf.
"He was going to put Holly's head on FeDe's body?"
Every single day, aradia gives me more stuff to hate about her. Pffft. Like everyone should bow down and let her walk over them. Today she told Fe to not apply to WRIOD?, and to go back and work on storylines instead of chatting. 1) You're not the only one that can, and will, apply for RPGs, esp. WRIOD?. 2) Fe is a good assistant, and I know she works on it enough. Basically, I'm praying that M, Psyche and Kitz don't let her in. (But unless she had a kick ass audition, they won't) Let T in. T is awesome.
Oh, Fe and I succeeded in spamming three threads at once today. Go us. :D
I hooked up my dad's microphone and configured it this morning, and recorded my voice. Hear?
ETA, again, a few hours later:
Grrrrr. *growls and rips aradia to shreds* I will stand by the fact that aradia sucks, and people were on crack whenever she got chosen for anything. I am officially prejudiced, jealous, spiteful and obsessed.
Why the bloody hell is Kitzzy on my MSN list? I have a sneaking suspicion... but I prefer not to think about it.
*goes back to her obsessive, plotting state*
"Jaded" - Aerosmith
"It's like talking to a wall. Except you get more from a wall."
My internet is screwy. So is MSN. No one is talking to me, it won't let messages go through. Or at least, it won't let my messages through and everyone on MSN is shy? O.o *chases you down* I'm booored! Talk to me, yo!
I went all neat-freak-y this morning and cleaned part of my room, and organized my favorites on the computer. I don't like it that way though. Takes me too long to open the folders. Bah.
Oh, and aradia is getting on my nerves more and more, for no particular reason that I can figure out. :/ Yup, someone else has become part of my nonsensical grudges.
Basically, I have a headache and what feels like a cold, so I was very bored. I tried to play soccer, but it rained and I went into a fit of sneezing, and decided to go inside. Grrr... *takes many packets of Thera-flu* Hehehe... no.
ETA a few hours later:
Jake send me .wav files of his voice. *cracks up laughing* Its so hilarious, first, 'cause hearing people you only know online's voices is always strange and fun, and two, it's just plain funny. Besides "ducka ducka ducka" and "Peter Piper", he does the 2nd best evil laugh, Jyn coming in first of course. *re-plays the files and bursts out in spontaneous giggling* *starts pounding the table*
Gah! I need to make a short video for Sen, so she can see what Katie looks like/sounds like. That also made me burst into giggling, because Katie is adorable.
"Beautiful Day" - U2
"Marshall who?" - Marshall on himself :D
I got quite random awhile ago, and was doing my usual flip through blogs routine. Eventually, I wound up in a friend of mine's blog: Blookies! Aka, Brook. So I stole this from him. I think he stole it from someone. It's the joys of theiving, yo. And for Psi, I took out questions 1- 56 again. :D
Believe it or Not
57. Aliens: *gives you a look*
58. Angels: Nope!
59. Demons: Nope!
60. Heaven & Hell: Errr...
61. God: Nope. Sorry all you god wannabes. ;) *coughYouknowwhoImeanFecough*
62. Your friends: Umm... well... most of them.
64. Best friend: Online: Sen. RL: Lea.
65. Last friend you talked to: Sen!
66. Funniest: Jyn. It's the dry humor.
67. Silliest: Sen or Fe
68. Loudest: Jake, 'cause he's the only one who puts lol in capitals :P
70. Stupidest: I have this habit of 1) not calling my friends stupid 2) not making stupid people my friends
71. Sweetest: Aww, Fe, she's the cuddliest
72. Weirdest: Sara, Rachey's sister. Sorry, but the girl calls me Mommy. O_O
73. Best at keeping secrets: Secrets don't get told, yo. ;)
74. Most hyper: Chipmunk!
75. Most annoying: Alana :76. Friend you miss most: Kathryn...
77. Friend you've known the longest: *thinks* I don't think I had any real friends till the summer after 6th grade. Kathryn I guess.
78. Friend you haven't known long: My newest friend? Sushi, Jenny or Brook
79. Bill Clinton: Colin Powell? *scratches head*
80. Lollipops: *whistles*
81. Whipped Cream: Refrigerators.
82. Dreams: Nightmares.
83. Love: Scarce.
84. South Park: Maddie Meece and the Christmas Song. Oh god, why is that remembered?
(notice the numbers *cackles*)
87. Death: Inevitable.
88. Bubble gum: Tape.
89. Water: Oxymoron! Sorry. *cough* Old conversation.
90. Ice Cream: Dough.
91. Oil: The Beverly Hillbillies! *sings*
92. Phone: Colin Farrel :S
93. Food: Cheez-Its
94. Kiss: Spin the Sneaker :D
95. Pretzels: Playing cards.
96. Britney Spears: Eww!
97. School: Mr. Yoshi.
98. Floppy: Fraz?
99. Shoes: Toes
Have you ever (FYI answer yes or no)
100. Been on a plane: Yes
101. Cried in public: Excepting being an extremely small child, nope
102. Climbed a tree: Of course
103. Gotten in a physical fight: No
104. Drank alcohol: Yeah
105. Fell asleep in a movie theater: I don't think so...
106. Driven a car: Yes
107. Been arrested: Yes
108. Broken curfew: I have a curfew? Seriously now, I don't actually know what mine is...
109. Been pulled over when driving: Would that require driving?
111. Met a celebrity: Charlie Luken. :P No.
112. Skipped school: No... I was in the building
113. Went to a pro sports game: Baseball games, yeah
114. Met the president: Nope
115. Been scared to get shot: To get a shot, like doctor's, when I was little, yeah. Get shot with a gun? Ever been downtown by yourself late at night?
116. Smoke a cigarette: Nope
117. Gotten a cavity: Nah
118. Done any drugs: Nope
119. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: What do you take me for? Hell no.
120. Gone skinny-dipping: Hehehe... no.
121. Food: Ravioli or pudding
122. Drink: Orange Soda! *sings*
123. TV show: "I love the 80's"
124. Movie: Dogma, Monty Python and the Holy Grail *trails off*
125. CD: The Hives "Veni Vidi Vicious"
126. Song: "Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage
127. Color: Crimson
128. Day of the week: Thursday
129. Month: January
130. Number: 7
132. Favorite Car: Thunderbirds
133. Cookie: The kind that aren't baked yet. I like the dough.
134. Toothpaste: Crest Whitening. Makes me feel shiny. :P
135. Ice Cream: Cookie Dough!
137. Candy bar: Almond Joy
138. TV channel: VH1?
139. Radio station: Bah, no.
140. Artist/band: currently, Garbage
141. Shampoo/conditioner: Herbal Essences
143. Website: This place where I rant...
144. Sports to play: Soccer or Swimming
145. Sports to watch: Swimming
146. Place: Not home.
147. Vacation spot: Australia
148. Kind of candle: *looks at you like you're crazy*
149. Color eyes: Green. I'm a self centered bigot, what can I say?
Bug bites on your knuckles are annoying.
"Chinese Burn" - ?
giggly. Frame it.
"KERMIT IS NOT A PANSY! It's not easy being green!" "It's not easy being a pansy, either." - Fe's MSN nick. I think Sara said one of them. :S
I forget kinda what happened today. Been online for a long time period, working and chatting. Got into another RPG. Playing a renegade-y, grief-stricken woman. Very cool, possibly my favorite role yet. Although, I'm pretty sure that too many RPGs lead to identity crisises, and god knows I have enough of those. :P
Aradia. *sigh* She annoys me to no end. I'm not sure how exactly you get power hungry in an RPG, but she manages. You just want tell her to chill out. Scratch that. You just want to smack her. Oh, and my eyes get just that much greener when I talk to her. She's a decent RPer, but she tries to hard for me to respect her. I have petty problems, yes, I know.
Jake put up the friends page on his blog! *lmao* It's the funniest thing, esp. when you know the person. My favorite bit is probably Alch on Jake, just because it's so damn true. That and the "Fe is a chipmunk" thing. I was singing the Chipmunks to her earlier, damn funny.
Oh, wait, this is truly the greatest thing. Jake on Soph, queen of the incestous Family Ties. ('sides the Jon/Fe/Sen/Syb thing, where I'm my own grandma?)
"I met Sophia when her daughter gave birth to her. Then I dated her before she dumped me for my son/her uncle. Needless to say, karma came around and broke those two up. Yes, this is a classic example why you should stay the fuck away from Family Ties. ;)"
Oh, and yeah, the thing about me? Well, the only thing of real importance is that I'm a LUNATIC! *bounces*
"Criminal" - Fiona Apple
"Sars? What, is she a disease now?" (I screwed up and called Sara Sars. Made sense to me at the time.)
My head hurts. AN is down, again. Don't know what keeps going wrong with that damn board. I can't bring myself to focus on anything, so I can't work on anything or do anything I should. Oy. I was planning on refreshing my HTML knowledge and tinkering with layouts, but that's out of the question. (Don't worry, I'm testing layouts elsewhere, so if I put it up it won't be screwy)
That's all folks. A post about nothing. Because I don't seem capable of anything else at the moment.
"Thirteen" - Garbage
"Duuude, pudding's gotten advanced!"
Woo! Best Magical Fighter (three-way tie), Best Level 2 (tie of some level), Best in Group 18. The only thing that really mattered was the best of Group 18, to show up David and Adi, but its all good. Nice to see Anne pull off an award for her group too, she deserves it muchly. Sadly, Petal didn't seem happy for his award. :( For all of you that this means nothing to, ignore this paragraph.
4th of July! Great fun. (great deal of sarcasm in that statement) Too tired to do the rant tonight. Gaaah. Really, really sleepy, and won't get a bit of sleep with those goddamned fireworks and guns. Dang blasted, bloody freakin' things... *cusses and rants* Oh, and yeah, you do not
give 3 year olds fireworks! It's not patriotic to blow off a child's fingers! If you're over 21, you should know what you're doing, so as long as you're not setting houses or trees on fire, and you're not doing it illegally, its fine if you shoot off your hand.
Screw the no-rant thing. Every year, the people that live behind our house set off tons of fireworks in their backyard. Now, if you're not familiar with my neighborhood and city, I live in the suburbs basically. Granted, around the corner is a very inner-city style crack den, but yeah. Tons of large trees surround my house and neighborhood, and seeing as how it's summer, they're dry. Aka, flammable.
Every year, my mum goes out and tells our neighbor, Stan, to stop setting off the fireworks, because a) it's illegal in the city, b) there's a good chance he could set something on fire (trees, house etc.) c) its just plain annoying, disturbing everyone by setting off rockets all night long
. I used to sleep in my closet (its quite spacious, really), where the noise was muffled, but now we stock up on earplugs. Yeah.
And every year, Stan tells my mum to fuck off, its his business, and its the 4th of July, its patriotic
to set off fireworks. Lanier, my other neighbor, guy who supervises the road crew in a lawn chair in his front yard while wearing his personal hard hat, comes out and gives my mum the same speech: fireworks are patriotic. And apparently, my mum and my family are not
patriotic because we don't
set off fireworks and mum calls the police every year on Stan.
Tell me something. Fireworks are patriotic? Because we try to stop Stan from "celebrating his national pride" by doing something illegal, disruptive, annoying, disrespectful, harmful, and dangerous, we are un-patriotic? We are patriotic. We support the US, and we follow it's laws, respect it's citizens and people's basic rights. So tell me, Stan, who's the real
Because of the last year's events, I can continue. Patriotism. And peace. The time period around the "War on Terrorism" and the bombings of Iraq, a large group of students at my school started a group against the war, Bush, and his policies regarding Iraq and in general. Personally, I was not part of this organization, and frankly I deeply regret not getting more involved. I do remember hearing about their protests downtown, against the war, supporting peace.
A few people were attacked verbally. They were called un-patriotic, un-American. They were accused of not supporting and caring for US troops in Iraq. This is not true. They were campaigning for peace. Wanting the American soldiers to survive and come home, wanting them to live and caring for them. The only thing that was not cared for was the fact that our soldiers were in Iraq in the first place. Those people, campaigning for peace, are not un-patriotic either. They are Americans, and they were excercising a great American right: the right to freedom of speech. Peaceful demonstration, speaking out for what they think is right. I think that's patriotism.
Something else disgusts me. Ever heard this line: "We're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."? That was Natalie Maines, part of the group The Dixie Chicks. The Dixie Chicks are avid anti-war protesters, and that line was spoken as the last line of one of their concerts. Since then they have been accused of, you guessed it, being un-patriotic and un-American. Sales of their albums and concerts have dropped drastically, people have trashed their music, tastes and views, without even hearing a single Dixie Chicks song.
Janeane Garofalo is another supporter of peace, a comedian and actress against Bush and his policies, who speaks out at every chance against him. She has had a hard time getting jobs because of this, a pilot for a TV show she was working on was canceled and her movie hid a few roadblocks.
Freedom of Speech. A right entitled to every American by the constitution, being infringed upon by Americans. Actors, peaceful protesters, being called anti-American for speaking out. So, are you proud to be an American?
Peace out, yo. ;)
"Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage
Hehehe... *points to below's results*
Ok everyone, its time for a lesson. First, go to www.google.com
and type in "Weapons of Mass Destruction". Then hit "I'm Feeling Lucky". *lmao* Nice, eh?
My favorite holiday rant, patriotism and the fireworks, coming tonight.
Naturally high and happy!
""I concur. We should head back to the house." - Kelly, RPing Kinser (My stuffy British guy. Dunno why, but dissolved me into giggles)
This morning has been nothing but funny. *tries to breathe* I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Ok, here's the story. *breathes again, but starts laughing again* Once upon a time, when I first joined ID (which was back in like February or March), me, Magus and Chrissie got on the topic of smuggling pandas. So Magus goes and finds me a jump-roping Panda animation, which I faithfully put in my sig. It was hilarious.
Then, this morning, I notice he joined AN, and the following took place in his introduction thread.
My goodness girlie!! You still remember that blasted Panda!?
I swear...I do one nice thing just one...and I can never live it down............
He gave me the panda again. :D :D Here it is, uploaded to my own server. Panda!
*goes off and starts laughing again*
"Only Happy When It Rains" - Garbage (*makes note to vid this song sometime*)
"Whats to bitch? (A)"
Fe: Not today. :D
I figured out MSN. If I pull up my internet in the MSN explorer window, MSN Messenger turns on. Screwy and manipulative, that is. Also, pulled up an email thing from Sen. Yes, there's a reason that it starts on number 3. I didn't like the first two questions.
3. Do you wish on stars?
No. Part of that might be because I can rarely see stars where I live.
4. Which finger is your favorite?
*lmao* Take a wild guess.
5. When did you last cry?
Erm... sometime in April. Ask Sen or Petal.
7. What is your favorite lunchmeat?
That cajun turkey junk, yum yum. Had some a few minutes ago.
8. Any bad habits?
Extreme jealousy, disorganized, lashing out at people I like when I'm mad.
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf?
A*Teens. They're the new ABBA, literally. Not sure where I got that.
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
So if there were two me's, would I be friends with me? Yup. Partners in crime, dude. You can always trust yourself to lie to authority.
11. Are you a daredevil?
Umm... I'm not scared of snakes. :D
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?
No. Then again, normally I forget most secrets.
13. Do looks matter?
Sorta, yeah. But in the end... not really.
14. Have you ever misused a word and it has sounded stupid?
All the time! I'm infamous for it.
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
And every cloud has a silver lining? I'm sorry, have you ever been in a thunderstorm?
16. Do fish have feelings?
What kind of question is this? Dude, I have no freakin' clue. Sure. Fish have feelings. They cry when you feed them to your bigger fish.
17. Are you trendy?
18. How do you release anger?
Taking it out on people verbally, mostly people that I like. Or doing something physical, like soccer, swimming, or running.
19. Where are your second homes?
20. What was your favorite toy as a child?
A bunny I got when I was tiny. Supposedly it wasn't always brownish yellow, but then I took it into the bathtub.
21. What subject are you useless at?
Probably Science or Latin.
22. Have you ever been on radio or television?
*scratches head* Its quite fuzzy, but I might of been on TV when Kate and I did the "rap" when the playground was built at the Center. *forgets the playground name now, but you know what I mean.)
23. Do you have a journal?
*gives you a silly little smirk*
24. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Nope, not me.
25. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
(*adds mosh pit to her list for Sen* ;)) Nope.
26. What do you look for in a woman?
*smacks you away from her with her handy, dandy baseball bat*
27. What are your nicknames?
M, Mem, Syb, Sybs, Sybie, Sybbo, Sybula, Dorry (Petal said its off Finding Nemo). People are always coming up with more.
28. Would you bungee?
If you attach the cord to something, sure.
30. What are you worried about right now?
*pleads the fifth*
31. Do you ever wear overalls?
Sorry, trying to break the Ohio stereotypes. *rolls eyes*
32. Do you think that you are strong?
Umm, I dunno. Am I strong?
33. What's your favorite ice cream flavour?
(Sen: Not spelled wrong really, just different spelling.) Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Hold the ice cream.
34. What's your favorite colour?
35. What is your least favorite thing in the world?
My parents? The dentist? Trying to explain things I can't explain?
36. How many wisdom teeth do you have?
Sorry, but I haven't a clue.
37. Are you in love w/ anyone?
38. How many people have a crush on you right now?
39. Who do you miss right now?
I have bad short-term memory, so I miss anyone who should be on MSN 'cause I said so. :D Dude, I'm talking to Fraz about who has to sleep on the dog bed if he comes to Ohio! (Which will never happen) Help me out here!
40. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?
*waves baseball bat*
"London Calling" - The Clash
"I am fine... but a day behind." - "Revolution"
Late last night, the little Norton Anti-Virus window popped up, saying in that cheerful computer way, "You've got a virus! Mwhaha!" Well, not exactly. It didn't cackle. Anyway, I wasn't doing anything a the time that would give me a virus, and after reading some stuff, the window closed by itself, after saying something about "Access Denied". Naturally, being a good computer chica, or just lucky, I've never had a virus before. I did the full system Norton doctor thingy, and it said there were no viruses. Everything appears fine. Heh. The computer's not even singing. :D
*dances around* I need to do something. Seeing as how its 8:23 in the morning and Mum's home, I'm kinda stuck in my ugly tan box. (My room)
Wheeee... "Disarm"! Haven't heard this song in ages. *wanders off humming*
"Sleepwalker" - The Wallflowers (don't ask)
depressed, angry and paranoid
"Let me in, let me drown or learn how to swim, Just don't leave me at the window." - "Sleepwalker" (so many good quotes)
I had a long post. Very long. It was depressing. It was about quitting. *points to blog title and screams it in your ear* Do you get it now?
Oh, the post? Saved on my comp but I won't publish it today. It's kinda mean. And kinda honest.